Submitted by Paul on Thu, 03/05/2009 - 07:18

Most Import in life ( at least my life ) is a need to connect deeply with myself. To be there for myself and place this connection, as well as my connection with nature and the infinite on clear, solid ground each and every day.

Next comes my connection with others, with my romantic relationship ( Deanna ) and friends and family.

But I've put 'myself' first above these. I've been putting my own perceived survival ( good word ) needs above all of these.

You see, I've been identifying with my music and success. I've incorrectly been perceiving that being a great singer or recording great music that is loved will mean that I can feel loved and love.

This is just plain wrong.

I want to feel love and to love and I've been using this as a poor substitute.

This takes me to what I was afraid of yesterday...

It seems easier to focus on a substitute for what we really want and need but this always takes us down a road that leads to emptiness and lack of meaning.

Doing and giving myself what I need and really want, meaning relationships and intimacy and friendships and love is the only way to get what I want.

I can choose to sing or do music but only when the above is placed first.

Moral of this story: Place love first.